Happy and Sad

As we get ready for our upcoming trip emotions are high. I am happy and excited to meet our little boy, more like ecstatic, but also sad to leave the girls. I am going to miss them so much. I love them with everything I have in me. I haven't left them for this long or gone this far. They are in great hands with their wonderful (and I mean really wonderful) grandparents. We are so appreciative of all they are doing for us. Tonight as I fed the girls dinner I noticed that Sara Kathryn, my sensitive caring 7 year old, was crying. I asked her why and she said "because I am going to miss you" and I said I would miss her too. She then said "but I am scared you are not going to come back or something bad is going to happen to you." Well, that was all it took for my tears to start rolling (like a river). She did it, she said my worst fear out loud and it hit me like a ton of bricks. We sat there together and hugged tight and I couldn't let her go. All I could say to her with a trembling voice was "I hope not, I hope to be here with you for a long time, but that is not up to Mommy. It is not my plan it is HIS." And then she did an amazing thing. She looked me straight in the eye and said with assurance "I know, I know it is." I told her we were not meant to live our life in fear and while yes we may worry (probably more than most 7 year olds) that we can't let it stop us from fulfilling our purpose or calling. So I sit here tonight, with tears still in my eyes, thinking about how fearful I am of leaving my babies but also realizing I have to put my full trust in my God. I can't let fear stand in the way of my calling. He has brought us this far and I can only hope his plan is to bring us home safely with a precious little boy.

On a lighter note, here are some pictures of our family preparing for Bryant. The girls helped paint his room. We still have a ways to go before it is complete but nonetheless a step in the right direction. They have turned in to interior designers. It is kind of scary they are arguing about the decor. Little do they know Mommy will win.

More importantly, they have been working on pictures for the children in Bryant's orphanage. They are so proud of them. They did turn out cute. I had to remind them that they all couldn't be pink and purple with sparkles. I am so proud of my loving caring children who truly want to share what they can with less fortunate children. I bet these pictures will bring smiles to the children's faces. Creating these brought a bigger smile on my children's faces than any toy ever has.