Bringing Home Bryant: Happy 3rd Birthday

Happy birthday to my sweet boy. He is 3 today. Not sure where the past two years have gone. It seems like yesterday Jeff and I met him in Moscow. I vividly remember the day and will never ever forget it. We sat waiting anxiously in the children's music hall of the orphanage staring at these odd rather scary looking stuffed animals when all of a sudden the orphanage worker burst in and literally threw Bryant at me, no introduction just a flying baby. A flying baby in a gray and white striped one piece outfit and ugly brown wool socks. I was completely surprised and remember thinking how lucky I was that I caught him. He immediately smiled at me with this big toothy grin. At that one moment he was mine. All mine. I will never forget that connection between us and the look on his face. It was as if we both knew it was meant to be. I don't know how to describe it but it was right, all right.

On this visit, Bryant acted like a one year old but was the size of a five month old. I remember how pale his skin was and how brittle his fingernails appeared. Regardless of his poor health he had this big smile on his face and this adventurous spirit, which he still has. We left just short of his first birthday. It makes me sad to think of how he celebrated his first birthday. For the girls we went all out and had a big party to celebrate the big day. I just hope Bryant got a hug or maybe even a kiss from someone who cared it was his birthday. Amazing how things have changed.

This weekend he had his first big birthday party with friends and family. There were 35 kids and numerous adults there to celebrate with him. A far cry from his first birthday in Moscow. It was a costume party at the local park. Little man was a pirate. He perfected his "Arrgh." He was so excited about the party. He loved every minute of it. It was crazy chaos with lots of sugared up kids running around in costumes having a blast.

Tonight we celebrated again with Papa and Nana. They brought Bryant his favorite french fries and Sprite. We had a cupcake (icing only for the birthday boy)and sang again. Bryant likes to sing "Happy Birthday" to himself. Papa and Nana gave him a Chuggington train which he adores. The girls gave him a Sponge Bob pillow that he asked for. Cacky and Poppy gave him the Woody from Toy Story. He got a special spider man gift from his best buddy Maks. He is one happy happy boy.

Today, as with last year, I have found myself thinking about his birth mother. I can't help but wonder the circumstances surrounding his birth. I wish I knew but then again it may be too painful to hear. I find myself wondering why she gave him up and asking many questions that I honestly don't normally think about. I think for me Bryant's birthday is a celebration of not only him but of his mother's choices. She made difficult decisions but she made one right one and that was to give birth to this little boy. I can only imagine there were other options available. I thank her for that decision to give Bryant life. She may not have been able to care for him but she gave him the gift of life. Today I find myself praying for her. I pray that she has peace in her heart about her decision to leave her baby at the hospital. I know any female who has carried a child has an emotional bond regardless of external factors. That being said I believe she, or any mother who gives up a child, grieves for that child in some way or another. I sometimes wish she knew how great he is now and how much he has overcome. I wish she knew how thankful I am of her and her decision. Without her I would not have my little boy.

Bryant I wish you the happiest birthday. I love you with all my heart.

Love, your Mommy