Happy birthday to Bryant. Today one year ago our little one was born in a maternity clinic in Moscow City. Only hours later he become an orphan. The first year of his life he has faced some major challenges, emotionally and medically. It honestly is amazing he is doing so well. For that we are thankful. We know there will be more challenges ahead but can only hope in time that he reaches his full potential, whatever that may be.
Today especially, I think of his birth mother. Has she thought of him today? I hope so. I do not know her story and have vowed not to pass judgement or make assumptions that may be incorrect. For Bryant's sake I want to speak about her in a positive way. After all she gave him life. The greatest gift. I know that because of her decision, we are blessed to know him today.
Jeff & I just watched the videos of our time with him at the orphanage. Oh how we wish he could be here with us celebrating. The girls thought it would be nice if we made cupcakes. So tonight we made and decorated cupcakes and sang happy birthday to Bryant. Next year we will have this to look back on but hopefully he will be here eating cupcakes too. Happy Birthday sweet boy.
Our story of following God's will and adopting Bryant from Moscow, Russia
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
Home Sweet Home
We made it back to home after a very long journey, 22 hours from the time we left our place in Moscow to the time we arrived at the airport. A long day it was.
Oh how I love the good ole USA. It is so great to see grass and sunshine. The small things that we take for granted every day are now very much appreciated. It has really changed our perspective about how good our lives are. Jeff and I talked last night about how blessed we are to have what we have and how we need to stop taking it for granted. I feel so selfish complaining about what I have or wanting bigger and better material things. I have seen what it is like to suffer and have little and we have never been close. For this we should truly give thanks but instead we want, want and want more. The american way. We are ALL so blessed but we do not realize it. I do realize it now.
We were really stressed yesterday because the blood work that we ordered on Bryant was not back and we were heading home. The labs were the last piece of the puzzle before we could proceed and request a court date. Our coordinator in Moscow told us she would text or email the results when she got them. Once we arrived in New York we quickly checked and there was nothing. Then there was a sense of panic. We thought oh no this is not good that she did not contact us. I think our reaction was exasperated due to sheer exhaustion. We said lots of prayers. We woke up this morning and there it was an email from Moscow that all blood work is negative. THANK YOU GOD. We were so relieved. So we are proceeding with the adoption of this child. We are hoping to get a court date in 4 weeks at best. Our agency is going to pull all the strings they can but it is not sure when the court date will be. We have expressed our need to get him back asap due to his small size. They agreed but sadly said most adoptees are in the same situation. He needs to be seen by our amazing pediatrician. He needs supplements/vitamins and a better diet. His hair is coarse and he has rickets due to no sunlight. I am so anxious for him to receive the care he deserves.
We have picked up Amelia from her Nonnie and Pop. Jeff and I were racing to see who could get to her first. I won. That was one race I wasn’t going to lose. She hugged and kissed us and we couldn’t let her go. So good to hear her voice and hold her. We are waiting from the older girls to get home from school. Can’t wait to love on them too.
A big thank you to the grandparents for taking such good care of the girls. We love you so much. To my pediatrician who has been so supportive throughout this whole process. She has been emailing me from Moscow and answering my questions. I owe her big time. Thank you to our wonderful team in Moscow. We have met some great new friends who truly want a better life for Bryant. If it weren’t for them this would not be possible.
Also a big thank you to you for all of your prayers.
We are HOME and it is sweet. Oh how I love it.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Day 2 with Bryant
Our second day with Bryant went very well. We got to the orphanage around 11:30am. They brought him in to see us and again he smiled. I actually think he was not smiling because he wanted to see us but he remembered we had really good toys. He looked a little more hesitant today but Jeff held him up in the air and he started grinning. We then showed him Sophie the Giraffe (teething toy) we brought and he was so happy. He loves Sophie. There was a fish tank and bird in the playroom that he was very interested in. Liked to follow the fish. During both of our visits we have noticed his determination. If he wants a toy, our camera, video or anything else he will find a way to get it. He doesn't give up. We love this about him. I really think this personality trait is why he has done well in the orphange. We have learned in the orphanage it is survival of the fittest. Well compared to the other children he is the fittest not the biggest. He is very small but packs a big punch. The saying "big things come in small packages" comes to mind. This child has had a very rough start but he is a true fighter.
We left for lunch so he could nap and went to the local mall. The day before we noticed that one of the other babies had a catepillar toy on her crib. We could not handle that our little boy did not have one so we were determined to find one. We found one at the toy store and we foolishly did not calculate rubles to dollars. So we just paid and walked out. Later Vlad, our driver, told us we paid $65 for this toy that would have been $12 at Walmart. Wow. Oh well our little one now has a catepillar on his crib too and I guess that is all that matters. Everything in Moscow are very expensive.
When we returned he had woken up from his nap and was in a good mood. We played on the floor and he liked the riding toy. He was more verbal today (baby talk) and he did some copycat behavior which we thought was awesome. We brought bubbles for him which he really enjoyed but couldn't figure out why they popped. He let me hold him and play with his feet and hands. In Russia they dress babies in layers and layers of clothing and big socks. I can't handle this (it is 75 degrees inside) so I removed so layers. The bottom layer was a pair of white tights with pink owls and flowers. Poor thing had girls tights on. Our coordinater said they dressed him in his "sunday best." I am not sure what his casual clothes look like after seeing his best.
Jeff and I met with the orphanage director who was extremly nice. She is a doctor and well respected. We learned there are 43 children in the orphange ages 0 to 4 years. They have a capacity for 100 children. So it is a good thing there numbers are low now. In Bryant's groupa there are 6 or 7 children with 2 caretakers. The orphanage employs 150 people with 3 paid doctors. The exterior is old and in a rough area of town. The interior is well kept and very clean. We commented to the workers how impressed we were and they were very appreciative. We gave the orphange director some donations, clothes, hats and gloves, toys, crt supplies, bubbles etc. It was like Grandfather Frost (Russian Santa Claus came). They were appreciative. We hope to bring more clothing next trip because after seeing what they have it is much needed.
Then came the time to leave our little man. We gave lots of kisses and the tears were falling. The caretaker commented on how much he liked us and looked like ours. Don't know whether she says that to every adoptive family but it was sweet nontheless. As they took him down the hall to his groupa I caught one last glimpse of his big brown eyes and blew him a kiss. An emotional day it was.
Now I have to focus on getting back to see my girls. I miss them so very much and can't wait to get home to see them. Oh how much I love them.
Here are a few pics from today:
We left for lunch so he could nap and went to the local mall. The day before we noticed that one of the other babies had a catepillar toy on her crib. We could not handle that our little boy did not have one so we were determined to find one. We found one at the toy store and we foolishly did not calculate rubles to dollars. So we just paid and walked out. Later Vlad, our driver, told us we paid $65 for this toy that would have been $12 at Walmart. Wow. Oh well our little one now has a catepillar on his crib too and I guess that is all that matters. Everything in Moscow are very expensive.
When we returned he had woken up from his nap and was in a good mood. We played on the floor and he liked the riding toy. He was more verbal today (baby talk) and he did some copycat behavior which we thought was awesome. We brought bubbles for him which he really enjoyed but couldn't figure out why they popped. He let me hold him and play with his feet and hands. In Russia they dress babies in layers and layers of clothing and big socks. I can't handle this (it is 75 degrees inside) so I removed so layers. The bottom layer was a pair of white tights with pink owls and flowers. Poor thing had girls tights on. Our coordinater said they dressed him in his "sunday best." I am not sure what his casual clothes look like after seeing his best.
Jeff and I met with the orphanage director who was extremly nice. She is a doctor and well respected. We learned there are 43 children in the orphange ages 0 to 4 years. They have a capacity for 100 children. So it is a good thing there numbers are low now. In Bryant's groupa there are 6 or 7 children with 2 caretakers. The orphanage employs 150 people with 3 paid doctors. The exterior is old and in a rough area of town. The interior is well kept and very clean. We commented to the workers how impressed we were and they were very appreciative. We gave the orphange director some donations, clothes, hats and gloves, toys, crt supplies, bubbles etc. It was like Grandfather Frost (Russian Santa Claus came). They were appreciative. We hope to bring more clothing next trip because after seeing what they have it is much needed.
Then came the time to leave our little man. We gave lots of kisses and the tears were falling. The caretaker commented on how much he liked us and looked like ours. Don't know whether she says that to every adoptive family but it was sweet nontheless. As they took him down the hall to his groupa I caught one last glimpse of his big brown eyes and blew him a kiss. An emotional day it was.
Now I have to focus on getting back to see my girls. I miss them so very much and can't wait to get home to see them. Oh how much I love them.
Here are a few pics from today:
Orphange Donations,
Bryants orphanage
Picture over Bryants Crib
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Stolen Heart
Today we met our son, Bryant Alexander. It is hard to describe in words the feeling I have. The two words that come to mind are joy and thankfulness. Joy finally seeing his precious face and thankfulness that God has chosen us to love this child.
We got to the orphanage around noon. As we pulled up I was shocked at how old and antiquated it was. As we entered the building they made us cover our shoes with booties (they are very strict about this). No one spoke to us. Inside, the rooms were very well cared for and clean, much improved from the outside appearance. We were taken to the special occasion room where the children have music. We waited for a while for Bryant to finish lunch. Jeff & I were so nervous. Then to our surprise, a caretaker brought him in the room and almost threw him at us. Thank goodness I caught him. I took one glance at him and he smiled. A big toothy grin from ear to ear. That was all it took to steal my heart. I put him up in the air and he giggled. Oh how thankful I am for this child. He is one happy happy baby. I can see in his eyes he has so much to give if only given the chance.
He saw the toys on the floor and wanted to get down to play. I put him down and he crawled toward the toys. I was surprised. He is very active. He then crawled across the floor and pulled up on a little chair. I was smiling even bigger now. I didn't expect him to be able to do that at 11 months old being in an orphanage. Then just to show off he started cruising along the furniture. It was then I laughed. It was like he was saying "look at me, look what I can do. All that worry for nothing." With a little more muscle strength he will be walking. He loves to play with toys and puts everything in his mouth. He is so ticklish. He just giggles and giggles. He can roll a ball back and forth to us which he thinks is hilarious. All in all we were extremely pleased with his development. Couldn't be happier.
Bryant is very small for his age. He weighs around 15.5 pounds. We are hoping to get him home and fatten him up. He needs some meat on those tiny bones. He is small but packs a big punch. He is symmetrically small which Dr. Boris, the doctor we hired to examine him was pleased with. Dr. Boris was awesome. He went over his medical file with us, examined him and spent a lot of time explaining things. He thinks he is doing very well and has good gross motor skills. He is verbalizing and reacting to stimuli etc. He feels confident that he will thrive when he gets home. So all in all very positive.
Later in the day I wanted to see if he would stay still and let me hold and love on him for a while. He is so active I didn't know if he would slow down long enough. I held him tight and walked around the room singing to him. He finally relaxed his little body and snuggled up against me. I held him so tight and didn't want to let go. He just looked up at me with those big brown eyes that make me melt. This made Momma so happy.
Before we left we visited his groupa (where the other children and caretakers reside). It was overwhelming to see the other children but we tried to smile and talk to them and give them some attention. We spoke to his caretakers and thanked them. We also took a picture of them with us for Bryant to see when he is older. We put Bryant in the crib and waved "paka paka" he smiled and reached his arms up at me. It was all I could do not to grab him and take him home.
An amazing day it has been. This verse keeps coming to mind today.
Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever ... 1 Chron 16:34
We got to the orphanage around noon. As we pulled up I was shocked at how old and antiquated it was. As we entered the building they made us cover our shoes with booties (they are very strict about this). No one spoke to us. Inside, the rooms were very well cared for and clean, much improved from the outside appearance. We were taken to the special occasion room where the children have music. We waited for a while for Bryant to finish lunch. Jeff & I were so nervous. Then to our surprise, a caretaker brought him in the room and almost threw him at us. Thank goodness I caught him. I took one glance at him and he smiled. A big toothy grin from ear to ear. That was all it took to steal my heart. I put him up in the air and he giggled. Oh how thankful I am for this child. He is one happy happy baby. I can see in his eyes he has so much to give if only given the chance.
He saw the toys on the floor and wanted to get down to play. I put him down and he crawled toward the toys. I was surprised. He is very active. He then crawled across the floor and pulled up on a little chair. I was smiling even bigger now. I didn't expect him to be able to do that at 11 months old being in an orphanage. Then just to show off he started cruising along the furniture. It was then I laughed. It was like he was saying "look at me, look what I can do. All that worry for nothing." With a little more muscle strength he will be walking. He loves to play with toys and puts everything in his mouth. He is so ticklish. He just giggles and giggles. He can roll a ball back and forth to us which he thinks is hilarious. All in all we were extremely pleased with his development. Couldn't be happier.
Bryant is very small for his age. He weighs around 15.5 pounds. We are hoping to get him home and fatten him up. He needs some meat on those tiny bones. He is small but packs a big punch. He is symmetrically small which Dr. Boris, the doctor we hired to examine him was pleased with. Dr. Boris was awesome. He went over his medical file with us, examined him and spent a lot of time explaining things. He thinks he is doing very well and has good gross motor skills. He is verbalizing and reacting to stimuli etc. He feels confident that he will thrive when he gets home. So all in all very positive.
Later in the day I wanted to see if he would stay still and let me hold and love on him for a while. He is so active I didn't know if he would slow down long enough. I held him tight and walked around the room singing to him. He finally relaxed his little body and snuggled up against me. I held him so tight and didn't want to let go. He just looked up at me with those big brown eyes that make me melt. This made Momma so happy.
Before we left we visited his groupa (where the other children and caretakers reside). It was overwhelming to see the other children but we tried to smile and talk to them and give them some attention. We spoke to his caretakers and thanked them. We also took a picture of them with us for Bryant to see when he is older. We put Bryant in the crib and waved "paka paka" he smiled and reached his arms up at me. It was all I could do not to grab him and take him home.
An amazing day it has been. This verse keeps coming to mind today.
Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever ... 1 Chron 16:34
Monday, October 24, 2011
Green light
Today we received the green light to visit our son. This is a big step in the adoption process and thank goodness we sailed through it. We visited the Ministry of Education with our translator and received our official referral letter. This is a letter (in Russian) that invites us to go to the orphanage and meet the child. After we visit with him at the orphanage over the next 2 days, there is a line at the bottom of the letter we sign if we intend to proceed with the adoption. Let's hope it will have our signatures on it shortly. This official meeting took all of 5 minutes. We were prepared to answer many questions but none were asked. We did find out a few more details about our little one but will review all of the information tomorrow with our physician, the orphanage director and adoption team. All signs are very positive and we are hoping for the best. So tomorrow is the BIG day we have been waiting for.
At 11:00am we head to the orphanage to meet our son. We are ready to see him. I am dying to hold him and see his face. I am not sure how he will react to us, as we are strangers to him. I can only hope he will warm-up to us quickly but have to be realistic about it. I know how my children normally react to strangers so I am keeping my expectations of him low. We will take lots of pictures and video but will be unable to post any until the adoption is finalized.
Today we spent the day touring Moscow. We have walked all over the city and had a great time sight-seeing and shopping. We visited the Kremlin, Red Square, St. Basil's Church and shopped on Arbat street. The architecture is amazing. It is a very old city with much history. We visited two churches built in the 15th century. The walls were covered in hand-painted murals of Christ. They were breathtaking. In one church there were tombs of princes inside dating back to 1436. Red Square is enormous and of course the famous St. Basil's Cathedral is beyond beautiful. We ate lunch at McDonalds outside of the Kremlin which we found quite ironic. We headed to Arbat to shop and buy some memorabilia for our son. Everyone here has been very nice and helpful. We are learning some language and a little about Russian culture. We want to be able to share this with Bryant when he is older.
Here are some pictures of our day
Entrance to Red Square
At 11:00am we head to the orphanage to meet our son. We are ready to see him. I am dying to hold him and see his face. I am not sure how he will react to us, as we are strangers to him. I can only hope he will warm-up to us quickly but have to be realistic about it. I know how my children normally react to strangers so I am keeping my expectations of him low. We will take lots of pictures and video but will be unable to post any until the adoption is finalized.
Today we spent the day touring Moscow. We have walked all over the city and had a great time sight-seeing and shopping. We visited the Kremlin, Red Square, St. Basil's Church and shopped on Arbat street. The architecture is amazing. It is a very old city with much history. We visited two churches built in the 15th century. The walls were covered in hand-painted murals of Christ. They were breathtaking. In one church there were tombs of princes inside dating back to 1436. Red Square is enormous and of course the famous St. Basil's Cathedral is beyond beautiful. We ate lunch at McDonalds outside of the Kremlin which we found quite ironic. We headed to Arbat to shop and buy some memorabilia for our son. Everyone here has been very nice and helpful. We are learning some language and a little about Russian culture. We want to be able to share this with Bryant when he is older.
Here are some pictures of our day
St Basil's Cathedral
Assumption Cathedral
Jeff in front of Bell Tower Monument of Ivan Terrible
Heather at Bell Tower
Finding Mickey D's ouside Kremlin (in background)
The Annunciation Cathedral
Old Kremlin Wall
Red Square
Heather St. Basil's
Entrance to Red Square
We are here
We made it to Moscow. After a very long flight (9 hours) we finally made it. The flight was smooth and much better than expected (after a lot of worry and anxiety on my part). After arriving yesterday, Vlad our driver met us at the airport. We went to the bank to exchange dollars to rubles. We then went to market to get a few things (water, snacks etc), and we found a Dunkin Donuts across the street from where we are staying. We felt like we hit the jackpot. We were exhausted yesterday but woke up more refreshed today and are ready to see Mosow. It is morning here and we are heading back to our spot for coffee and then to see Red Square. Our appointment with the Ministry of Education is not until 4:30pm so we are not going to the orphanage until tomorrow. Wish we could have gone today but the orphanage is very particular about the babies schedules. So tomorrow is the big day. Will post some pictures of us in Moscow tonight.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Leaving on a Jet Plane...
It is finally here. I still can't believe the time has come to head to Moscow and meet our son. We are ready and hope he is too. Can't wait to hug him and kiss that sweet face. The girls are with the grandparents and in good hands. Yesterday was an extremely emotional day for us and for them. We said our tearful goodbyes, I love you's and a few "paka pakas" (bye-bye in Russian). A sweet friend came by to bring the girls matryoshka dolls (Russian nesting dolls) that she bought when in Moscow adopting last year. The girls took them to their grandparents house so they can feel a little closer to us. We are at the airport and ready to board a plane and meet the child that will change our lives forever. Please, please pray for our safety, our children, our little boy and most of all that God's will be done.
Here are some videos I took of the girls yesterday with my new flip video. They are loving the new camera. We love you all and will miss you. We will keep you posted on all of the details of the trip
Here are some videos I took of the girls yesterday with my new flip video. They are loving the new camera. We love you all and will miss you. We will keep you posted on all of the details of the trip
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Happy and Sad
As we get ready for our upcoming trip emotions are high. I am happy and excited to meet our little boy, more like ecstatic, but also sad to leave the girls. I am going to miss them so much. I love them with everything I have in me. I haven't left them for this long or gone this far. They are in great hands with their wonderful (and I mean really wonderful) grandparents. We are so appreciative of all they are doing for us. Tonight as I fed the girls dinner I noticed that Sara Kathryn, my sensitive caring 7 year old, was crying. I asked her why and she said "because I am going to miss you" and I said I would miss her too. She then said "but I am scared you are not going to come back or something bad is going to happen to you." Well, that was all it took for my tears to start rolling (like a river). She did it, she said my worst fear out loud and it hit me like a ton of bricks. We sat there together and hugged tight and I couldn't let her go. All I could say to her with a trembling voice was "I hope not, I hope to be here with you for a long time, but that is not up to Mommy. It is not my plan it is HIS." And then she did an amazing thing. She looked me straight in the eye and said with assurance "I know, I know it is." I told her we were not meant to live our life in fear and while yes we may worry (probably more than most 7 year olds) that we can't let it stop us from fulfilling our purpose or calling. So I sit here tonight, with tears still in my eyes, thinking about how fearful I am of leaving my babies but also realizing I have to put my full trust in my God. I can't let fear stand in the way of my calling. He has brought us this far and I can only hope his plan is to bring us home safely with a precious little boy.
On a lighter note, here are some pictures of our family preparing for Bryant. The girls helped paint his room. We still have a ways to go before it is complete but nonetheless a step in the right direction. They have turned in to interior designers. It is kind of scary they are arguing about the decor. Little do they know Mommy will win.
More importantly, they have been working on pictures for the children in Bryant's orphanage. They are so proud of them. They did turn out cute. I had to remind them that they all couldn't be pink and purple with sparkles. I am so proud of my loving caring children who truly want to share what they can with less fortunate children. I bet these pictures will bring smiles to the children's faces. Creating these brought a bigger smile on my children's faces than any toy ever has.
On a lighter note, here are some pictures of our family preparing for Bryant. The girls helped paint his room. We still have a ways to go before it is complete but nonetheless a step in the right direction. They have turned in to interior designers. It is kind of scary they are arguing about the decor. Little do they know Mommy will win.
More importantly, they have been working on pictures for the children in Bryant's orphanage. They are so proud of them. They did turn out cute. I had to remind them that they all couldn't be pink and purple with sparkles. I am so proud of my loving caring children who truly want to share what they can with less fortunate children. I bet these pictures will bring smiles to the children's faces. Creating these brought a bigger smile on my children's faces than any toy ever has.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Riding the Adoption Rollercoaster
Yes, we are on it. THE ROLLERCOASTER. The ups and downs of international adoption. A rollercoaster, that is exactly what it feels like. One minute we are at the top with our hands in the air and the next we are screaming as we drop 75 feet to the ground. The past week has been like this for us. Before you read any more of this post, if you have not already, please take the time to read "Our Exciting News" below. It will catch you up on our lives and give you a glimpse in to our hearts.
Last week we received the dreaded call that there may be a problem with our referral (child in adoption language) and the ultimte adoption of this child. We were stunned, more like blindsided. We had purchased airfare, hotel etc and were ready to head to Russia. WHAT???? Was all I could say over and over. And then I cried. Things had been going so well and now this. My wise and wonderful husband's response (nothing like mine) was "nothing in our lives that has mattered to us has come easy and neither will this" and I had to agree. We are not exactly sure what happened but told someone came in the orphanage inquiring about him and signed a petition. Not sure if it is a foster situation, adoption or family but in the end it doesn't matter because it ties him up for adoption by an international family. My heart broke not for us but for this child. I can only hope the best for him and that he does end up with a forever family. We were told he was a risky because of his young age but that went in one ear and out the other. Maybe I should learn to listen more. We were extremely sad and lost. Lots of emotions.
The next day our agency found us another child. We did not know what to do. It is so hard to think that one child is your child and then less than 24 hours later switch gears. We prayed and prayed and asked God for guidance. I feel like sometimes in hard situations we ask and ask for God's help but we fail to listen to his response. That night Jeff & I talked about how we had been disappointed about losing this child but it would be unfair not to consider the second child. Maybe he is our child but if we never open this email we will not know. I thought about this poor child sitting in a Russian orphanage. He didn't ask to be born or to live the first year of his life without a mother/father or home. But what I imagine he would ask for was at least a chance. A chance for a better life and a family who would love him. In the end, we decided to open the email and what we found staring back at us was the sweetest little 11 month old boy with brown hair and brown eyes and a big smile on his face. This is when we laughed with joy at this precious child with a huge grin that said "lighten up and come get me"
The following morning as I read my daily devotion it said "Be willing to follow me where ever I lead. Follow me wholeheartedly. Though you don't know what lies ahead, I know and that is enough. Some of my richest blessings are just around the bend: out of sight but nonetheless very real. To receive these gifts, you must walk by faith not by sight" And then I thought, Heather you need to stop and really listen. Listen to what God is telling to you, listen to what is in your heart.
So we have decided to take that leap of faith and go meet this new little boy. We are nervous and more guarded this go around but know this is what God has intended for us to do. We believe as Christians you must trust God completely not just when it is convenient or easy but when things get tough. We are still heading to Moscow on our same trip. Our amazing agency has worked hard to make sure that happens. We want to thank our wonderful family and friends for their support last week. You are incredible.
Hopefully we will look back and say thank goodness we listened. From now on let's just hope we remain at the top of this rollercoster with our hands up in the air.
With love, Heather
Last week we received the dreaded call that there may be a problem with our referral (child in adoption language) and the ultimte adoption of this child. We were stunned, more like blindsided. We had purchased airfare, hotel etc and were ready to head to Russia. WHAT???? Was all I could say over and over. And then I cried. Things had been going so well and now this. My wise and wonderful husband's response (nothing like mine) was "nothing in our lives that has mattered to us has come easy and neither will this" and I had to agree. We are not exactly sure what happened but told someone came in the orphanage inquiring about him and signed a petition. Not sure if it is a foster situation, adoption or family but in the end it doesn't matter because it ties him up for adoption by an international family. My heart broke not for us but for this child. I can only hope the best for him and that he does end up with a forever family. We were told he was a risky because of his young age but that went in one ear and out the other. Maybe I should learn to listen more. We were extremely sad and lost. Lots of emotions.
The next day our agency found us another child. We did not know what to do. It is so hard to think that one child is your child and then less than 24 hours later switch gears. We prayed and prayed and asked God for guidance. I feel like sometimes in hard situations we ask and ask for God's help but we fail to listen to his response. That night Jeff & I talked about how we had been disappointed about losing this child but it would be unfair not to consider the second child. Maybe he is our child but if we never open this email we will not know. I thought about this poor child sitting in a Russian orphanage. He didn't ask to be born or to live the first year of his life without a mother/father or home. But what I imagine he would ask for was at least a chance. A chance for a better life and a family who would love him. In the end, we decided to open the email and what we found staring back at us was the sweetest little 11 month old boy with brown hair and brown eyes and a big smile on his face. This is when we laughed with joy at this precious child with a huge grin that said "lighten up and come get me"
The following morning as I read my daily devotion it said "Be willing to follow me where ever I lead. Follow me wholeheartedly. Though you don't know what lies ahead, I know and that is enough. Some of my richest blessings are just around the bend: out of sight but nonetheless very real. To receive these gifts, you must walk by faith not by sight" And then I thought, Heather you need to stop and really listen. Listen to what God is telling to you, listen to what is in your heart.
So we have decided to take that leap of faith and go meet this new little boy. We are nervous and more guarded this go around but know this is what God has intended for us to do. We believe as Christians you must trust God completely not just when it is convenient or easy but when things get tough. We are still heading to Moscow on our same trip. Our amazing agency has worked hard to make sure that happens. We want to thank our wonderful family and friends for their support last week. You are incredible.
Hopefully we will look back and say thank goodness we listened. From now on let's just hope we remain at the top of this rollercoster with our hands up in the air.
With love, Heather
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)