Bringing Home Bryant: October 2012

Bryant turned 2 years old today. We celebrated with some ice cream and blowing out candles. On Sunday we are going to have a small family party and open gifts. This week the girls and I worked on teaching Bryant to sing Happy Birthday however it came out as "Happy Happy to me." We have laughed and laughed. I tried to video it but he refused only to sing it every time I turned the camera off. Typical 2 year old. My little peanut has turned in to a big boy. Maybe not size wise as he weighed 19lb 5oz yesterday but in every other aspect definitely a 2 year old. Lots of new behavior, communication and independence.

Each year on his birthday I thank his biological mother for him. I thank her for choosing life and having Bryant when it may have been easy to choose another option. I admit I do not think of her often but I do think of her today and every year on the day of his birth. Bryant is forever my child and I am his mother. I believe a mother is determined by raising a child not just having a child. Mothers work hard to love, care for and nurture their children. This is a life long commitment in which you never give up on not just 9 months. That being said it does not mean I don't wonder about what happened 2 years ago today. What were the circumstances around his birth, who was there, what were the feelings etc. I do not even know the time of his birth. These small details will never be known and sometimes I wish they were for his sake or maybe selfishly mine. What I do know is God knows these circumstances and chose to place Bryant in our arms. He has entrusted us as his parents.

Please say a prayer for Bryant on Thursday. He is going to have a procedure at the hospital to test the PH in his esophagus and the amount of reflux he has. It will not be fun. A 24 hour stay with a probe down his throat. The thought makes me so nervous. But this is the beginning of trying to figure out his GI issues and get his growth moving in the right direction. We appreciate your prayers as you all mean so much to us.

Here is a video of my sweet boy today. Also some recent pictures from school I couldn't help but share.

Happy Birthday Bryant. I love you with all my heart. Mommy

Happy 2nd birthday
click Watch on You Tube

My 2 year old

School Pictures

Love this pictures of my babies.

Ten months ago this week we saw Bryant's face for the first time in an email. As I think back to this time last year I remember the roller coaster of events and emotions that occurred. We were getting ready for our first trip to Moscow scheduled for October 22nd , 2011. Everything was going as planned or so I thought. One day early October I was out shopping for a winter coat when I received a life changing phone call. Here is my post one year ago.

Post from October 12, 2011
"Last week we received the dreaded call that there may be a problem with our referral (child in adoption language) and the ultimate adoption of this child. We were stunned, more like blindsided. We had purchased airfare, hotel etc and were ready to head to Russia. WHAT???? Was all I could say over and over. And then I cried. Things had been going so well and now this. My wise and wonderful husband's response (nothing like mine) was "nothing in our lives that has mattered to us has come easy and neither will this" and I had to agree. We are not exactly sure what happened but told someone came in the orphanage inquiring about him and signed a petition. Not sure if it is a foster situation, adoption or family but in the end it doesn't matter because it ties him up for adoption by an international family. My heart broke not for us but for this child. I can only hope the best for him and that he does end up with a forever family. We were told he was a risky because of his young age but that went in one ear and out the other. Maybe I should learn to listen more. We were extremely sad and lost. Lots of emotions.

The next day our agency found us another child. We did not know what to do. It is so hard to think that one child is your child and then less than 24 hours later switch gears. We prayed and prayed and asked God for guidance. I feel like sometimes in hard situations we ask and ask for God's help but we fail to listen to his response. That night Jeff & I talked about how we had been disappointed about losing this child but it would be unfair not to consider the second child. Maybe he is our child but if we never open this email we will not know. I thought about this poor child sitting in a Russian orphanage. He didn't ask to be born or to live the first year of his life without a mother/father or home. But what I imagine he would ask for was at least a chance. A chance for a better life and a family who would love him. In the end, we decided to open the email and what we found staring back at us was the sweetest little 11 month old boy with brown hair and brown eyes and a big smile on his face. This is when we laughed with joy at this precious child with a huge grin that said "lighten up and come get me"

The following morning as I read my daily devotion it said "Be willing to follow me where ever I lead. Follow me wholeheartedly. Though you don't know what lies ahead, I know and that is enough. Some of my richest blessings are just around the bend: out of sight but nonetheless very real. To receive these gifts, you must walk by faith not by sight" And then I thought, Heather you need to stop and really listen. Listen to what God is telling to you, listen to what is in your heart.

So we have decided to take that leap of faith and go meet this new little boy. We are nervous and more guarded this go around but know this is what God has intended for us to do. We believe as Christians you must trust God completely not just when it is convenient or easy but when things get tough. We are still heading to Moscow on our same trip. Our amazing agency has worked hard to make sure that happens. We want to thank our wonderful family and friends for their support last week. You are incredible.

Hopefully we will look back and say thank goodness we listened. From now on let's just hope we remain at the top of this roller coaster with our hands up in the air."

Yes one year later, I am so glad I listened and walked by faith not by sight. I re posted this because it baffles me to think what would have happened if we had not opened the email and listened to God's call. I am amazed by what God has blessed me with and I had no idea at the time. What if I had let fear overcome me and not trusted in God's plan. Scary thought. Not listening to God's call would have meant I missed out on an amazing child and opportunity.

One of the things I am most proud of in my life is following God's call in this situation and not letting the external issues distract me from his intentions. It would have been so easy to give up and pass up Bryant, consider another child or to give up the whole idea of adoption. I admit the thought crossed my mind but the little voice in my head and the feeling in my heart said press on. I never doubted God's intentions. I may have been scared and nervous but I never doubted this was God's plan for us and Bryant.

When Jeff and I opened a picture and stared at Bryant's face we both knew this was our child. His smile was contagious. When we first met him there was a twinkle in his eye and a love for life even when his life was not so grand. To this day his happiness and smile will turn a gray sky blue. When we shop he always smiles at people and regardless of how big of a hurry they are in they always smile back. I swear his smile is simply contagious.

I am in sheer amazement of how different our lives are now than one year ago. Bryant has added so much more life to our family. Don't get me wrong he is very very difficult at times. I really have to stay on him and watch his behavior. He has been much harder than the girls in all aspects. He came with his own set of problems but at the end of the day he is the happiest sweetest little peanut. Every night he says "Mama rock rock" and "I wus you." Tonight he said "I a mess" because he heard me tell him he was a little mess. So cute. I just can't help kissing him. We continue to struggle with feeding. I swear the kid could go all day with nothing. It is like he plugs himself in to a wall socket. I don't know where he gets his energy. We are now seeing a pediatric gastroenterologist to help with his severe reflux and monitor his growth. We started new reflux meds. We have also started feeding therapy in hopes of increasing growth. Praying for some success.

He is a smart little cookie. He his repeating words and phrases and likes to sing. He loves coloring, dancing and trying to play the Wii with his sisters. He loves his preschool now too.

We had two big events this month. Sara Kathryn was elected to student council at her school. We are so proud of her and her willingness to help others. She has a kind spirit. Bryant had an elective procedure on his "hiney bo bo" as he calls it. It was not pleasant but at least it is over.

So sorry for the long post but again it is very important to me and will be very important to Bryant in the years to come.